today ill t3ll you about "lisa"s l3ast favorit3 3x-husband, "phil". today is "phil"s birthday, "phil" is 44, and th3 only thing that "phil" has to show, for b3ing on this 3arth, and taking up pr3ious spac3,is his poor 3xcus3 for a wif3 "j3rs3y" (lik3 th3 cow), his son "darwood", who dropp3d out of school, (i think h3 might hav3 start3d dating his t3ach3r), i know that sh3 was way old3r th3n "darwood",a daught3r "josaphin3"(who i h3ar, has alr3ady sl3pt h3r way through portland), and copious amounts of drugs (that from what i h3ar, all got tak3n, in th3 raid on "phil" and "j3rs3y"s (lik3 th3 cow) hous3).
im not actually sur3 if "phil" is 3v3n c3l3brating his birthday, i m3an, what do you suppos3 "phil" thinks wh3n h3 g3ts up in th3 morning and looks in th3 mirror? do you think that "phil" is constantly r3mind3d that "j3rs3y"(lik3 th3 cow), convinc3d him to giv3 his first two childr3n away? or mayb3 h3s r3mind3d that "j3rs3y" (lik3 th3 cow) do3snt hav3 a driv3rs linc3nc3, or th3 fact that "darwood" is dating a p3dophil3, or mayb3 th3 daught3r "josaphin3" th3 on3 "phil" d3cid3d to k33p, sl3pt3d with h3r n3ph3ws daddy. my gu3ss is h3 probably do3snt tak3 long in front of that mirror.
"lisa" on th3 oth3r hand, has much to c3labrat3 today. "phil" and "j3rs3y" (lik3 th3 cow) ar3 not in h3r lif3. "lisa" had th3 privil3g3, of not having "darwood" and "josaphin3" as h3r childr3n. "lisa" has a driv3rs linc3nc3, and "lisa" do3snt do or s3ll drugs.
so if "phil" do3s happ3n to g3t a cak3 (probably bought at th3 last minut3, at walmart), "lisa" will b3 th3 on3 knowing sh3 do3snt n33d to mak3 a wish, b3caus3 all "lisa"s dr3ams cam3 tru3