Tuesday, August 24, 2010

w3llllllllllll, w3 all had a w33k off!! how was it for you guys? m3 and "lisa"? it was......... un3v3ntful. but as w3 ALL know, ALL good things MUST com3 to an 3nd. (thanks "d33")
"lisa" was at hom3, minding h3r own busin3ss.........wh3n who do you suppos3 calls (in th3 middl3 of th3 day, a TU3SDAY). you gu3ss3d it "d33". this old hag of a thing "d33", d3cid3ds to start shit with "lisa", can you b3li3v3 it? i m3an, "lisa", of ALL p3opl3!! (haha)
"d33" starts th3 phon3 call with-'im not starting anything BUT'....... "lisa" didnt say anything to "d33", sh3 just list3n3d. wh3n "d33" was finish3d y3lling about birthdays and stamps and som3 disgusting boil that "d33" found on h3r backsid3, sh3 hung up! yup "d33" hung up on "lisa", w3ll, "lisa" didnt appriciat3 this at all!! so, "lisa" calls "d33", gu3ss what- straight to machin3!! surpris3 surpris3 surpris3..
so th3n "lisa" d3cid3s to call m3, THANK GOD, i hav3 b33n soooooooo bor3d, you know, with 3v3rybody g3tting along, it kind of f3lt lik3 my birthday!!
so "lisa" fills m3 in on all of "d33"s pill popping, b33r drinking, pants p33ing, ways. i just list3n3d to all that "lisa" was t3lling m3.. AND WOW.. th3 thing call3d "d33", sh3 is soo much nasti3r th3n i 3v3n 3xp3ct3d, i m3an r3ally gross!! i found out that "d33" do3snt bath 3V3R, just tak3s whor3s baths (thats a washcloth to th3 t and a) for all you young p3opl3 out th3r3, 3xc3pt for "josaphin3" who knows 3xactly what a whor3s bath is. i also found out that sh3 do3snt stop at just family, wh3n it com3s to st33ling, oh nooooooo, sh3 st33ls from h3r n3ighbors, "d33" 3v3n took a wall3t out of an old ladi3s purs3 at th3 sup3r mark3t. im not r3ally sur3 what "d33" consid3rs old......i m3an "d33" hit 70 a whil3 back. i also h3ard that sh3 has way mor3 th3n 1 boil on h3r ass, from th3 stori3s i h3ar, its lik3 20, all bigg3r th3n half dollars!! my gu3ss is th3y com3 from not bathing, and sitting in you own filth-yuk
i do f3ll bad for "lisa", i m3an sh3 had just start3d talking nic3ly to "william"s kids. but all that asid3, i do lik3 wh3n "d33" cant k33p h3r wrinkl3d up old mouth shut.. :0) it mak3s m3 happy.
so to all you "d33"s out th3r3.......i say, k33p th3 shit going.......its all you hav3 l3ft, so who ar3 w3 to ask you to stop?
i hav3 absolut3ly nothing against anyon3 who is clos3r to 100 th3n 50, and sm3lls lik3 shit, and st33ls just caus3, and has half dollar siz3 mountains growing on h3r ass, just pl3as3 stay th3 h3ll away from m3.......

Friday, August 13, 2010

h3llo again- its friday, so you all no what that m3ans.......thats right, this is my last blog until monday. (unl3ss som3on3 piss3s "lisa" off)
"william" and "lisa" ar3 c3l3brating th3ir first annv. on sunday. good for th3m. if any coupl3 i no d3s3rv3s to happy,its th3m. "william"is also having his 49th birthday on monday, so "lisa" is having a cook out on saturday. th3 whol3 two birds with on3 ston3 thing i gu3ss.

"rach3l" and "kory"s son "andr3w" is having a sl33p ov3r at his gr3at grandmoth3rs (h3r nam3 is also "rach3l", but 3v3ryon3 calls h3r "colossal c3l" c3l is pronounc3d k3l), "collossal c3l" is not sp3aking to "rach3l", just to "kory", i no, i agr33 with you, it is stupid, but what can you do? (oh y3ah, i can blog)

"collossal cal" is not sp3aking to "lisa" 3ith3r, this all start3d wh3n "raqu3l" got pr3gnant at 16, r3m3mb3r? anyway, "lisa" tri3d for 2 or 3 y3ars to talk to h3r moth3r, but wh3n "collossal c3l" g3ts a hair across h3r ass, WATCH OUT. "collossal cal" told "lisa" that sh3 wasnt doing a v3ry good jog moth3ring, if "lisa" l3t h3r 16 y3ar old daught3r g3t knock3d up.

"lisa" r3m3mb3rs all th3 stori3s, about how "collossal c3l" f3ll from h3av3n on a p3rf3ct whit3 cloud, and had to liv3 amoung3st all th3 putrid,mis3rabl3,wr3tch3d, insuff3rabl3, 3vil wick3dn3ss on this horrabl3 plac3 call3d 3arth. and how "collosal cal" kn3w from th3 v3ry first day that sh3 arriv3d h3r3, that h3r goal was to show all th3 failur3s of this unpl3asant world (in h3r 3y3s that includ3d man or b3ast) that sh3 and only sh3, had th3 d3vin3 pow3r to rul3 this God forsak3n sph3r3. .....................w3ll, ok, "lisa" do3snt r3ally r3m3mb3r any of thos3 stori3s, but its th3 only thing that mak3s any kind of sc3nc3.

"lisa" knows that "collossal cal" isnt any b3tt3r th3n th3 r3st of us, so "lisa" do3snt und3rstand why "collossal cal" acts lik3 sh3 is. "lisa" b3ing rais3d by this woman, knows soooooooo many stori3s of all "collossal cal"s mistak3s, wrong doings, und3rhand3d, and just plain ill3gal things that hav3 happ3n3d ov3r th3 y3ars, but "collossal cal" for som3 unknown r3ason, cant s33m to r3m3mb3r any of thos3 things.

so, for ALL you p3opl3 out th3r3 that would rath3r hold a grudg3, rath3r th3n trying to hold your family tog3th3r, "lisa" says K33P UP TH3 GOOD WORK, WH3N ITS TIM3 FOR YOU TO M33T YOUR MAK3R, IM SUR3 YOUR GRUDG3S WILL B3 TH3 ONLY ON3S THAT R3ALLY GIV3 A FLYING FUCK

Thursday, August 12, 2010

today im going to t3ll you a story about how "phil" play3d h3ad gam3s with "raqu3l" for 3 months ov3r a c3ll phon3. it go3s back to last nov. (wh3n th3y m3t), i gu3ss "phil" thought (for a min.,that is b3for3 h3 talk3d to "j3rs3y" (lik3 th3 cow)) that h3 ow3d his first 2 daught3rs SOM3THING.
so h3 d3cid3d that buying th3m, was th3 logical choic3 (just lik3 your ordinary, worthl3ss, 3xp3ndabl3 pi3c3 of garbag3, ((calm down "d33", this isnt about you)) whit3 trash, drug d3aling, worm that h3 is).
so "phil" puts "raqu3l" on his phon3 plan, and also g3ts h3r a phon3 (duh), w3ll anytim3 aft3r this, if "raqu3l" would say som3thing to ups3t him, h3 would tak3 th3 phon3. (thats right, and l3av3 h3r with no outsid3 contact, with 2 littl3 kids), ohhhhhhhh, th3 pow3r h3 must hav3 f3lt. what a man.
th3n aft3r a f3w days, "phil" would giv3 it back to "raqu3l" (wow, h3 must hav3 f3lt lik3 a GOD).
th3 last tim3 that "raqu3l" ang3r3d "phil" (th3 all pow3rful phon3 GOD), "phil" lit3rlly grabb3d th3 phon3, and brok3 it in half. ((som3thing "lisa" oft3n pictur3s "phil" doing to "j3rs3y" (lik3 th3 cow)).
w3ll, "phil" k3pt t3lling "raqu3l" that SOON, h3 (th3 all pow3rful phon3 GOD) would g3t h3r a n3w on3, day aft3r day ,w33k aft3r w33k, anoth3r 3xcus3, so "raqu3l" did som3thing that 3v3n th3 mighti3st of ALL phon3s GODS wouldnt hav3 thought of........"raqu3l" w3nt out and got h3r own phon3...OOOHHH MY MIGHTY PHON3 GOD, WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THAT.
"phil" and "raqu3l" still talk on th3 phon3, or t3xt from tim3 to tim3, and "lisa"s sur3 that this will continu3, as long as "j3rs3y" (lik3 th3 cow) do3snt find out about it.
but wh3n "raqu3l" finally d3cid3s to put on h3r big girl pants, and flush that pi3c3 of human wast3 down th3 drain, "lisa" will b3 th3r3 to pick up th3 pi3c3s, of h3r young3st daught3r, who onc3 again got trampl3d on by th3 on3 p3rson who should n3v3r hav3 l3t anyon3 put th3ir own daught3r in this position in th3 first plac3........thats you "phil" in cas3 you couldnt k33p up
in "lisa"s 3y3s, you dont try to buy anyon3, 3sp3cially your childr3n.......... you fuck3n bon3h3ad

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

alrighty kids, today im going to start with "phil" AGAIN, just wh3n i think im going to giv3 him som3 much n33d3d tim3 off(n33d3d only b3caus3 h3s SUCH a dick) and wh3n i say dick, i dont m3an "dick" as in "lisa"s 2nd husband. i m3an dick, as in DICK.

w3ll it turns out that "phil" has to go away for a coupl3 of w33ks. i know you ar3 all v3ry 3xcit3d about this, i just wish mor3 p3opl3 liv3d in oxford county, so th3y too, could c3l3brat3 his glorious abs3nc3. it also turns out, that "j3rs3y" (lik3 th3 cow) has to b3 gon3 for much of that tim3 also, again i know what you all ar3 thinking, (its lik3 th3 nois3 in YOVILL3 wh3n you op3n th3 pr3s3nt, on th3 job) and if you dont know th3 sound, just pictur3 a choir singing :).

im still not sur3 why "phil" continu3s to call "lisa", wh3n h3 knows that "lisa" t3lls m3 (l3sli3 aka l3st3r) 3V3RYTHING.. and that i writ3 it down on this blog, BUT "phil" do3s, so i do.

w3ll, "phil" told "lisa" that h3 wasnt going to b3 s33ing his wif3 "j3rs3y" (lik3 th3 cow) for thos3 2 w33ks, and that h3 was v3ry 3xcit3d about this, not b3caus3 h3 want3d to s33 if h3 would miss h3r, nooooooo but b3caus3 "phil" kn3w that h3 wouldnt miss "j3rs3y" (lik3 th3 cow). and that h3 was sick of th3 constant bick3ring, and fighting about 3v3rything from "j3rs3y"s (lik3 th3 cows) w3ight to h3r having troubl3 finding p3opl3 that didnt mind b3ing in th3 sam3 room with h3r. now sinc3 "darwood" mov3d out (in with his t3ach3r i think), that just l3av3s "josaphin3" at th3 trail3r. i wond3r if portland will mak3 an app3r3nc3? or mayb3 "josaphin3" has suc3ssfuly compl3tt3d portland, and has mov3d on to th3 bidd3ford-saco ar3a of th3 stat3.

anyway, th3 n3xt 2 w33ks should b3 r3ally int3r3sting to blog about. "phil" promis3d "lisa" that h3 would continu3 to call h3r dail3y,so that giv3s m3 tons to t3ll, but i may hav3 to chang3 "phil" and "j3rs3y"s (lik3 th3 cows) nam3 to som3thing 3ls3 so "j3rs3y" (lik3 th3 cow) do3nt catch on. mayb3 som3thing that starts with th3 sam3 first l3tt3r. :) :) :) :)

Friday, August 6, 2010

im sitting h3r3 thinking, what i could writ3 about, that ISNT going to aff3nd som3on3, or mak3 th3m (r3ally ins3cur3 idiots) think that my, THATS RIGHT MY, blogs hav3 anything to do with th3m (r3ally ins3cur3 idiots). do th3y (th3 th3m i was r3f3ring to) (r3ally ins3cur3 idiots) r3ally think that th3 world (3ssp3cially min3) r3volv3s around th3m (r3ally ins3cur3 idiots)?

what if i d3cid3d to writ3 about, l3ts say puppi3s? would that also b3 about th3m (r3ally ins3cur3 idiots)? would th3r3 b3 a hidd3n m3ssag3 th3r3? that i was trying to call th3m (r3ally ins3cur3 idiots) f3mal3 dogs (bitch3s)? th3y (th3 th3m i was r3f3ring to) (r3ally ins3cur3 idiots) would probably think so.

so what if i d3cid3d to writ3 about l3ftov3rs? would th3y (th3 th3m i was r3f3ring to) (r3ally ins3cur3 idiots) think i want3d to put th3m (r3ally ins3cur3 idiots) in a plastic contain3r in my fridg3?

ok, so what if i chos3 to writ3 about p3rsonal hygi3n3? what could that possibly hav3 to do with th3m (r3ally ins3cur3 idiots), could it m3an that i could sm3ll th3m (r3ally ins3cur3 idiots) from way down h3r3 in TN. thats probably what th3y (th3 th3m i was r3f3ring) (r3ally ins3cur3 idiots) would think that i was implying.

what if i d3cid3d to writ3 about 3ducation, would th3y (th3 th3m i was r3f3ring to) (r3ally ins3cur3 idiots) think that i was implying that th3y (th3 th3m i was r3f3ring to) (r3ally ins3cur idiots) didnt hav3 n3ar 3nough?

and so on and so on, th3y (th3 th3m i was r3f3ring to) (r3ally ins3cur3 idiots) ar3 going to tak3 what3v3r i writ3 and mak3 it about th3m (r3ally ins3cur3 idiots)

so i gu3ss this on3s for YOU and you know who you ar3............. (r3ally ins3cur3 idiots)

Thursday, August 5, 2010

aka (idiot)

today you g3t to h3ar about "migg3l" (aka miggy), this is "raqu3l"s 3x, and "jo3"s fath3r. "lisa", "raqu3l"s moth3r, has known "miggy" sinc3 2005. "lisa" n3v3r lik3d "miggy" (not just b3caus3 "miggy" was dating "raqu3l", but also b3caus3 "miggy" was a compl3t3 idiot) thats right, not an almost compl3t3 idiot, "miggy" was d3ffinatly compl3t3. "lisa" has lost count of all th3 stupid things that "miggy" has said or don3, but h3r3 ar3 a f3w, just so you might try and und3rstand th3 vast ignoranc3 of this fool. first off "miggy" got "raqu3l" pr3gnant at 16, now almost 3v3ryon3 can look at this as a coupl3 of kids who mad3 poor judgm3nts. but th3n "miggy" (now aka as "idiot") got h3r pr3gnant AGAIN, at 17, no r3sp3ct for anyon3.
so now, with no plac3 to go, no jobs, no car, no 3ducation, th3y had to mov3 in with "lisa" and "william" (th3 r3ason that "raqu3l" was not living with "lisa" alr3ady, is b3caus3 "raqu3l" thought sh3 could tak3 b3tt3r car3 of h3rs3lf, th3n h3r moth3r could) so sh3 took "lisa" to court and 3mancipat3d h3r s3lf.
"lisa" s3cr3tly hop3d that "miggy" ("idiot") was going to tr3at "r3qu3l" th3 way any man would tr3at a woman caring his child............ but oh no, "miggy" act3d lik3 h3 was th3 on3 pr3gnant, h3 sl3pt till 2 in th3 aft3rnoon, at3 and at3 and at3, and n3v3r ask3d to h3lp out, with ANYTHING,h3 brok3 "lisa"s show3r, twic3, h3 flood3d th3ir kitch3n, brok3 th3ir lawn mow3r, 3 tim3s, thats wh3n "william" stopp3d asking him to mow th3 grass. "william" actually thinks "miggy" ("idiot") did it on purpos3, "miggy" f3ll through th3 floor, and countl3ss oth3r things that would tak3 w33ks to t3ll. onc3 "william" took "miggy" job hunting, "william" had to tak3 him b3caus3 "miggy" didnt hav3 a car, or a driv3rs linc3nc3. wh3n "miggy" ("idiot") was filling out th3 app. h3 actually ask3d "william" what a signatur3 was. aft3r 3xplaining to "miggy" ("idiot") that it was his nam3, in cursiv3. "william" saw that th3r3 was no hop3 for this moron, so "william" brought him back to th3 hous3. aft3r "raqu3l" had th3 baby "jo3" (sooooooo handsom3, looks just lik3 "lisa", if you ask h3r) th3y d3cid3d to join th3 army, so th3y both took th3 t3st, th3y n33d3d to g3t 60 out of 100 right, "raqu3l" got a 94, "miggy" ("idiot") got a 9, thats right its not a typo h3 actually got a 9, th3 r3cruti3r cam3 right out and ask3d "miggy" ("idiot") if th3ir was som3thing wrong with him. hahahah "lisa" thought that was so funny.

"raqu3l" and "miggy ("idiot") only liv3d with "lisa" and "william" for 7 months, th3n th3y d3cid3d to mov3 back to main3. "lisa" miss3d "h3r daught3r and "jo3" but was sooooo happy to s33 that pi3c3 of trash g3t out of h3r hous3. sh3 thr3w a giant party, and all th3 voic3s that liv3 in h3r h3ad show3d up, th3y laugh3d and danc3d and told stori3s about all th3 stupid things that "miggy" ("idiot") had 3v3r don3. (ohhhhhhhh gr3at day for "lisa")

w3ll, sinc3 th3n "raqu3l" and "miggy" ("idiot") hav3 split up, and "raqu3l" m33t "st3w3rt" and gav3 "lisa" anoth3r grandson "chris" (looks just lik3 "lisa", if you ask h3r), sam3 st0ry, blah blah blah, th3n th3y brook up , now sh3s dating som3 guy nam3d "whats his nam3", "lisa" d3cid3d that wh3n it com3s to "raqu3l"s boy fri3nds, th3r3 is r3ally no n33d to r3m3mb3r nam3s.

"lisa" thinks that most of "raqu3l"s probl3ms com3 for h3r r3al fath3r "phil",for giving h3r away, lik3 som3on3 might giv3 away a puppy, "lisa" will n3v3r forgiv3 "phil" but sh3 do3s wish "phil" would stop calling h3r 3v3ryday, 3v3n though "phil" us3s a fri3nds phon3, "lisa" knows that "j3rs3y" (lik3 th3 cow) is going to find out

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

scroll down

todays l3sson (on stupid things not to say to your childr3n), is onc3 again brought to you by ......... non3 oth3r th3n "phil". "lisa"s young3st daught3r "raqu3l", which is "phil"s middl3 daught3r, stopp3d by to s33 him on his birthday ("raqu3l" didnt know it was "phil"s b-day, but why should sh3, wh3n "raqu3l" has only just m3t him) and "phil" said to "raqu3l", you cant com3 in th3 hous3, b3caus3 "j3rs3y" (lik3 th3 cow) is still mad at you, and im not j3pordizing my marriag3 ov3r this.....

OKAY HOLD TH3 PHON3 ASS WIP3....did you r3ally just say that? WOW, ok, first of all, what marriag3? and s3cond of all dirtbag, this is your kid, r3m3mb3r th3 on3 you gav3 away, b3caus3 "j3rs3y" (lik3 th3 cow) told you to.

just in cas3 you didnt know this "phil", im going to 3nlight3n you, a marriag3 is mor3 th3n just a pi3c3 of pap3r, or knocking "j3rs3y"s (lik3 th3 cow's) two front t33th out, or sl33ping with h3r co-work3r, or sl33ping with your fri3nds wif3. (but i do und3rstand why "josaphin3" acts lik3 that) sh3 d3ffinatly g3ts it hon3st.

a marriag3 is a r3latioship b3tw33n to adults, so for you "phil", to think for a s3cond that "raqu3l" actually was in dang3r of j3pordizing anything b3tw33n you and "j3rs3y" (lik3 th3 cow) 3xc3pt mayb3 int3rf3ring with th3 harv3st of ill3g3l drugs, th3n you n33d h3lp (not with th3 harv3st)

i wish "lisa" could 3xplain to "raqu3l" what a fuckin dick smok3r you ar3, and what a crotch rot that "j3rs3y" (lik3 th3 cow) is, or how sh3 is wasting valuabl3 tim3 (h3rs) on a coupl3 of no good,whit3 trash,pi3c3s of shit, carcass garbag3, back stabbing, wif3 b3ating, kbs calling, bad par3nting, blog r3ading (i actually lik3 that), idiots that you two ar3.

w3ll, i f33l b3tt3r, "lisa" f33ls b3tt3r, and i hop3 th3 two of you l3arn3d som3thing, 33v3n if its just to scroll down, so you can finish this blog

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

today im going to t3ll you a littl3 story about "d33", r3m3mb3r sh3s "kory"s moth3r, and "kory" marri3d "rachal", "lisa"s daught3r, and "lisa" is marri3d to "william", "kory"s dad, "d33"s 3x-husband. th3r3, all caught up....
w3ll "d33" and h3r young3st daught3t, "amb3r", w3nt to main3 for a f3w days (turn3d out to b3 ov3r two w33ks),and stay3d with "kory" and "rachal". turns out, th3y ar3 not v3ry good hous3 gu3sts!!! first, "d33" start3d talking about "rachal"s family (right in front of h3r), th3n saying things lik3, sh3 wasnt a good wif3, or moth3r. b3ing rais3d right, "rachal", just l3t it go, (not som3thing "lisa" would hav3 don3). th3n on3 day "rachal" took h3r son "andr3w", and w3nt to h3r cousins "lor3tta"s (aka r3t r3t), and sp3nt th3 whol3 day. "kory" actually dropp3d th3m off, and pick3d th3m up.
w3ll, h3r3s wh3r3 it g3ts good........... wh3n "kory" and "rachal" got hom3, th3y notic3d that th3ir stuff and b33n gon3 thr3w, and not in a unnoticabl3 way. (its lik3 "d33" didnt 3v3n try to hid3 it).
"rachal" got suspicious, so sh3 start3d looking thr3w things, "rachal" notic3d right away that an antiqu3 watch was missing, so sh3 inform3d "kory"....... oh "kory" was b3ond angry, h3 start3d y3lling at "d33", h3 want3d h3r car k3ys, (aft3r "kory" had found oth3r valuabl3s in th3ir suitcas3s) "d33" was drunk by this tim3, and was trying to 3xplain that sh3 had lost th3m. "kory" was obviously not buying this, so h3 found th3m, and wh3n "kory" got into "d33"s car, h3 found vid3o gam3s, cr3dit cards, pap3r work, 3v3n food, (all b3longing to "kory" and "rachal").
so "kory" call3d th3 polic3 (thats right on his moth3r), aft3r hours of th3 polic3 list3ning to "d33" li3, sh3 finally told th3m, that sh3 did tak3 th3 watch, and mail3d it to n3w j3rs3y (not lik3 th3 cow). w3ll th3 polic3 told "d33" that if sh3 didnt hav3 it mail3d back right away, sh3 was going to jail. w3ll about a w33k lat3r, "kory" and "rachal" got th3 watch back. lucky kids. "kory" and "rachal" didnt pr3ss charg3s, ("lisa" would hav3)
so now "d33" is back in n3w j3rs3y (not lik3 th3 cow), and trying lik3 h3ll to g3t "kory" to talk to h3r, but this all happ3n3d l3ss th3n a month ago, so "lisa" thinks mayb3 th3 wounds ar3 still to fr3sh, "rachal" on th3 oth3r hand, says that "d33" can com3 back to main3 any tim3 that "d33" damn w3ll pl3as3s, but "d33" is n3v3r aloud on h3r prop3rty, or anywh3r3 n3ar "rachal" or "andr3w"
so lisa"s advic3 to "d33" is stop st33ling from your childr3n, do you 3v3n car3 what this is doing to "amb3r", if sh3 s33s a 70 y3ar old woman st3lling from h3r own son, what in th3 h3ll is sh3 3v3r going to amount to. is it your mission in lif3 to hav3 "amb3r" b3 wast3, just lik3 h3r moth3r?
"lisa" thinks that for "amb3r" to 3v3n hav3 half a chanc3 in lif3, that "amb3r" should liv3 with h3r "william", of coars3, "lisa" would hav3 to g3t a saf3ty a d3posit box, and an alarm syst3m, and probably a s3curity guard....(lmao)

Monday, August 2, 2010

mak3 a wish "phil"

today ill t3ll you about "lisa"s l3ast favorit3 3x-husband, "phil". today is "phil"s birthday, "phil" is 44, and th3 only thing that "phil" has to show, for b3ing on this 3arth, and taking up pr3ious spac3,is his poor 3xcus3 for a wif3 "j3rs3y" (lik3 th3 cow), his son "darwood", who dropp3d out of school, (i think h3 might hav3 start3d dating his t3ach3r), i know that sh3 was way old3r th3n "darwood",a daught3r "josaphin3"(who i h3ar, has alr3ady sl3pt h3r way through portland), and copious amounts of drugs (that from what i h3ar, all got tak3n, in th3 raid on "phil" and "j3rs3y"s (lik3 th3 cow) hous3).
im not actually sur3 if "phil" is 3v3n c3l3brating his birthday, i m3an, what do you suppos3 "phil" thinks wh3n h3 g3ts up in th3 morning and looks in th3 mirror? do you think that "phil" is constantly r3mind3d that "j3rs3y"(lik3 th3 cow), convinc3d him to giv3 his first two childr3n away? or mayb3 h3s r3mind3d that "j3rs3y" (lik3 th3 cow) do3snt hav3 a driv3rs linc3nc3, or th3 fact that "darwood" is dating a p3dophil3, or mayb3 th3 daught3r "josaphin3" th3 on3 "phil" d3cid3d to k33p, sl3pt3d with h3r n3ph3ws daddy. my gu3ss is h3 probably do3snt tak3 long in front of that mirror.
"lisa" on th3 oth3r hand, has much to c3labrat3 today. "phil" and "j3rs3y" (lik3 th3 cow) ar3 not in h3r lif3. "lisa" had th3 privil3g3, of not having "darwood" and "josaphin3" as h3r childr3n. "lisa" has a driv3rs linc3nc3, and "lisa" do3snt do or s3ll drugs.
so if "phil" do3s happ3n to g3t a cak3 (probably bought at th3 last minut3, at walmart), "lisa" will b3 th3 on3 knowing sh3 do3snt n33d to mak3 a wish, b3caus3 all "lisa"s dr3ams cam3 tru3